Zombie Attacks!

My friend Bernie says, "Zombies are cool."

Of all movie-style monsters, I'm most afraid of zombies. Partly it's their whole cannibalism lifestyle, partly it's how quickly they make more zombies, partly their relentless stupidity...I don't know; they just creep me out.

Anyway if you haven't seen the new Dawn of the Dead, or Sean of the Dead for that matter, you should. Both are excellent additions to the zombie genre. I loved them. But several weeks after seeing Dawn of the Dead, Thomas and I were asleep in bed when our dogs, Gonzo and Gertie, started barking like crazy. They do this sometimes. They are dogs. We waited for them to be quiet, but they went on. Finally, Thomas decided to go see what was wrong. I waited. And waited. Still Thomas was not back. I was beginning to worry and so I called out, "What it is it?" and Thomas said, "It's running."

This was befuddling to me, so I, too, got up and went to the front door to investigate. It was running. Hundreds of people, it seemed, were running down the street, screaming. Take a minute to think about how long this must have taken to happen. The dogs bark long enough to wake us, then long enough to force one of us to the door, then long enough for the other to get worried and go to the door--and still, all this running. All I could think was, "It's ZOMBIES!"

I didn't think the running people were zombies, but I definitely thought they must be running from zombies. My sleep addled mind could come up with no reason that practically the entire city of Wilmington would be running down the street, screaming, at 3 in the morning unless they were running from zombies.

Yeah. A party had gotten busted up over in Town Hall on Castle Street. But still!

Last night at Pub Trivia at the Soapbox, my team was sitting under a red light. For some reason, it made our veins all look very apparent, as if we were human road maps. I yelled out, "Look! I'm a zombie!" Because, apparently, that's my explanation for everything.