'Tis I

School has begun. My kids are maniacs and all is as it should be.

And I cannot blog to save my life.

Things happened at the beginning of this summer that were beyond my control, and it was outside my idea of fairness to blog about them. Usually I subscribe to the idea that if I'm a part of a story, it's half mine and therefore fair game. But there are exceptions to that rule and this was one. And somehow, because I could not write about what was going on in my life here, I could not write at all.

I bet that a good many bloggers would agree that blogging has something to do with habit, the constant willful turning of minor events into blogworthy events. When I stopped doing that, I found that it was harder and harder to get back. I think of things from time to time, like, "I should really blog about phrases that people always get wrong, like 'for all intents and purposes' or the confusion between the word 'travesty' and the word 'tragedy'" and then I don't. Or can't. Or whatever.

I'm not giving up; Really, I'm just apologizing for the lack of both quality and quantity around here of late. I've been very spun up, and I'm trying to sort myself back down to reality, which seems to require more off-line writing than on-line writing.

I'm trusting in NaBloPoMo 2008 to set me on my feet again. Until then, please bear with me. It won't be long now.

Venemous Tentacula

First, I'd like to interrupt this broadcaset to say that Luciano's Pizza Rules!! Much in the way that San Dimas High School Football does, but maybe even more so. Their pizza is BIGGER THAN MY STOVE and the crust doesn't get all hard and rubbery when it's reheated....ahh. heaven.
But then, just when I thought things were as good as they could get, pizza-wise, we called them last night at 10:15. They were already closed, so too bad for us. Until the owner volunteered his OWN PIZZA that he was cooking to take home and had it sent out to us. I love that man. If I could have baked him some cookies on the spot, I would have.

In other news, the first day of school is tomorrow. I've already started have nightmares about it. Apparently, no matter how many times you do it, the first day of school is always scary.

I'm very grateful for the rain we're getting this afternoon, however, and grateful to be sitting here mindlessly wasting time on the internet.

Hrm.

What's orange and white and smells funny?


The self-tanning accident I have become.

Summer School is Over

And I couldn't be happier.

Summer got off on the wrong foot for me, and though summer school was 100% better than usual this summer, I'm still glad to see the back of it. I'm hoping to make a full recovery by the end of next week and be back to my regular happy-go-lucky blogging self.

This morning, in addition to watering the garden, I accidentally watered my left foot, causing my shoe to squish and smell for most of the day, so I'm doubly happy to be home and airing out.

Still clinging to the last vestiges of Potter mania, and now reading Stephen King's IT for perhaps the 3000th time. Good time spent with old friends. I've been hiding in books this summer, hoping to either give my brain time to recover, or give myself something to write about.

But for now, bring on the beer.

It's a Pig's World

I'm just living in it.

Couth

There is no better cure for cramps than coming home from work, seizing a cold and bunless hamburger from the refrigerator and eating it out of your hand.

Then you might find that there is no diet pepsi, which would be all the excuse you would need to eat the rest of a carton of ice cream from the freezer while staring mindlessly at the internet.

Not that I've ever done that.

Yay and Nay, Edition 1

Yay
Michael Stipe
Dogs
My friend Steve's 40th birthday
Space Ghost
Freshly dyed hair


Nay
The smell of freshly dyed hair
Hangovers
Pizza Hut buffet not being open on Saturdays
humidity


Last night, I went out with a bunch of people for Steve's 40th birthday. Happy birthday, Stevie! During the course of the evening, my friend Michelle was being hit on by some randoms, and when they asked her name she told them it was Heather. She then introduced me as Lisa. I've never done that before. No matter how annoyed or amused I was by some one's pick up attempt, I've never given anything but my real name. It was kind of liberating, but also kind of scary. I'm still Meg, right?

Also, I would like to report that Michelle broke the toilet in Lula's. She was on a drunken rampage. Or she was trying to fix it when the lid fell off and shattered into a million pieces.

Attention: Humans Employed at DMV

So, on Friday, I went to renew my car's registration. This year, I actually paid my car tax (imagine!) but there was still a hold on my registration (probably due to the fact that I paid it 30 days before my registration was due to expire instead of in December, when it was due. Oops.) So, I went to the tax office to get a receipt, because I just knew I'd have trouble at the DMV if I went without one.
After waiting in line at the DMV for almost 45 minutes (I think I dozed off for a while), it was finally my turn, and sure enough, the woman said there was a hold on my account and could I produce a receipt. I handed it over proudly.

"Oh, honey," she said, "This is not even your car."

WHAT? Finally, we determined that somehow my payment had been credited to the taxes on my old Saturn, Christine, whom I sold last year.

But here's the really freaky part: The lady was able to transfer the payment to my new car, and even though I was then two dollars short, she gave me my registration anyway. At 4:59 on a Friday.

Coming, as I do, from Maryland, home of the soul-less MVA, where I once saw a man denied a driver's license because the MVA teller-person didn't believe that his middle name was simply "S," I was astounded to see bureaucratic employees making human decisions. Hooray for the Wilmington DMV!

In addition to my fine DMV experiences, we got to see Chris Cubeta and the Liars Club this weekend, which was the awesomest ever. They just kicked so much ass.

SO MUCH!

They did an acoustic set early in the day at Folk's Cafe, and then an incredible, no-holes-barred set at Bella Festa. I even got a song sung just for me!
Then, because they are the best ever, they met us down at Lula's for drinks and a raucous time was had by all. Danny, their manager, crashed over our house and we all argued about the top 10 villians of all time until I became uncomfortable and had to play Journey on the jukebox to lighten the mood.

I was absolutely dead on Sunday. I appear to have given up the hangover in favor of the sleep of the dead. I no longer have nausea or headaches, I just can't wake up. Some have ventured to say that this means I'm getting old, but I won't hear of it.

They Love Me in Thailand

Courtesy of my friend, Jennifer:

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Thomas and Meg!

1. In their entire life, Thomas and Meg will produce only a twelfth of a teaspoon of honey.
2. Medieval knights put the skin of Thomas and Meg on their sword handles to improve the grip!
3. Marie Antoinette never said 'let them eat cake' - this is a mistranslation of 'let them eat Thomas and Meg'.
4. Thomas and Meg can only be destroyed by intense heat, and is impermeable even to acid.
5. Baskin Robbins once made Thomas and Meg flavoured ice cream.
6. It took Thomas and Meg 22 years to build the Taj Mahal.
7. Thomas and Meg can sleep for three and a half years.
8. Thomas and Meg can squeeze their entire body through a hole the size of their beak!
9. The porpoise is second to Thomas and Meg as the most intelligent animal on the planet.
10. California is the biggest exporter of Thomas and Meg in the world!

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Megs!

1. 99 percent of the pumpkins sold in the US end up as megs.
2. Megs is actually a mammal, not a fish!
3. The most dangerous form of megs is the bicycle!
4. While sleeping, fifteen percent of men snore, and ten percent grind their megs.
5. Megs can eat up to four kilograms of insects in a single night.
6. Megs is the sacred animal of Thailand.
7. Megs once came third in a Charlie Chaplin lookalike contest.
8. Lightning strikes megs over seven times every hour!
9. Never store megs at room temperature.
10. Peanuts and megs are beans.

Get your own!