Imperfect Haikus for an Imperfect World

Eternal Question:
Which came first, the ketchup
or the hot dog?

Young, blue-eyed hot dog
Why do you defile yourself
with vile condiments?

Tasty, tan and long
Get your mind out of the gutter!
Not that kind of hot dog!

I don't like to eat
Things that can taste me back
or lick their own chops

It puts the mustard
On its skin or else it gets
the hose again.

Who knew a hot dog
had fingernails? Or eyebrows
for that matter.

Ketchup and mustard...
Hot dog becomes quite tasty.
Is it a death wish?

I make myself
more delicious in your eyes.
Ah, self destruction.