Monday, May 08, 2006
Tonight I ate an enormous steak dinner--you know the kind of dinner where you want to take off your pants afterward and are sort of in pain? The kind where you have to keep drinking your drink just to keep sliding the food down and compressing it, making you have to pee like 30 times in the next hour? Yeah, that's me right now.
I seem to have problems hitting the stop button sometimes. Particularly in restaurants. I always feel like if I don't eat this, it will be waste, and not only that, expensive waste.
The only thing I can't stop with at home is Pizza. Seriously, someday I'm gonna be like that guy in se7en and I'm going to explode from eating pizza. I would say that without any discomfort or difficulty I could sit down and eat 3 pizzas, probably more if they were thin crust. My husband is very kind to me, and when we order pizza, he orders 3 so that I will not feel pressured to share. I do not share pizza. I stab those who try to eat what is mine.
Years ago, when I told this to my friend Lauren, she said, "Oh my God, those class pizza days must have killed you!" I love that she said this because: a. You're damn right! Hello, who eats two pieces of pizza? Who? For whom is that enough? Seriously, you're going to dangle the pizza in front of me and then socially pressure me to act as if I'm totally satisfied by two pieces of pizza? and b. It showed that she completely grasped how serious and committed I am to this matter. Pizza is the heart of all good things. Though I do feel a little bit dorky that I have the same favorite food as my elementary school students.
PS. After my egg commercial dissertation in the last post, I was thinking of other industries that have had commercials:
Pork: the other white meat
Beef: It's what's for dinner
Milk: It does a body good
Behold the power of cheese
Anyone have any other ones?
I appear to be obsessed with commercials, though I never noticed that before and I don't even have cable. The only thing I watch is Idol, I swear! Yet like 90% of my posts seem to have at least one commercial reference in them. It's baffling. What does this say about me?