Saturday, November 10, 2007

I Won't be Able to Look at this Post Later

So, tonight I was over at my neighbor's house and we saw a picture in a magazine that reminded me that there is, in fact, something more terrifying than worms.

Something that is causing me to blog the top five things I'm most afraid of. Outside of uncomfortable silences.

1. People with their fists in their mouths.

lauren can fit her fist in her mouth.

I discovered that I was afraid of this when that anti-drug commercial featuring a kid with his fist in his mouth started airing. I began to get the feeling, watching it, that his fist was never going to be able to come out of his mouth.

2. Worms, naturally.

There's actually a good reason for this, too. When I was little, we had concrete steps that went down from the yard into the basement. There was a drain at the bottom, of course, so that the basement wouldn't flood when it rained. And the drain would occasionally fill up with leaves and other debris, so it was my job to clean out the drain. I was reaching down there one afternoon and pulled out the granddaddy of all worms. It had been living a good life down there and it showed. Ever since then, worms have given me the heebie-jeebies in the extreme.

3. Zombies

Why are they so dumb? Why do they eat brains? Why?

4. Things that should have eyes, but don't.

Thomas recently pointed this out to me, as I was trying in vain to explain why the new Japanese brand of horror movie bothers me. I was sputtering about terrible plots and images that are just wrong, when he said, "You just don't like things that don't have eyes." So true.

5. Choking

I was seriously scared to google an image for choking. Partly I'm afraid of choking because I've choked 3 times in my life, all because I was laughing while eating and all of which resulted in my mother reaching down my throat and pulling out the cheese/onion/bacon. As an elementary school teacher, I am constantly terrified that one of my kids will choke during lunch and I won't be able to reach whatever it is.

1 comment:

Jonathan said...

How the hell did you come up with this idea for a blog post? lol

I can identify with the irrational fears. Touch wood, I don't *think* I have any, although psychological horror stories get to me badly.