Back to school...to prove to Dad that I'm not a fool...
So It's Monday morning and I'm going back to work. I know there's only a month left in the school year, but I'm painfully aware that now is when I'm supposed to start looking for a new job. I'm completely paralyzed by the idea. It was so hard to find a good job after I finished school--I can't believe I'm voluntarily going out into the uncharted workforce again. Not that my current job is necessarily good in any way, except the way in which I don't hate it and don't generally wish to be hit by a bus on my way to work, a common feature of my previous jobs.
There's something really ugly about reaching a point in your life when you have to say, I'm tired of living like this. Will I have enough money for food this week if I take the dogs to the vet? If I pay the car insurance 3 weeks early, that leaves me 2 paychecks to cover the rent...Oh crap, that won't work. I forgot that car tax is this month. These are thoughts I no longer want to have. I don't want to wonder if it's broken or hope it's not pink eye. If I don't feel well I want to be able to go to the doctor--or even, for that matter, to stay home from work if I'm sick, an option I don't currently have. I'm not trying to diss my job--it's just that every time I think of leaving it, I have to talk myself up again. (Now I can just read this post!)
So I'm going back today with the odd sense that I will soon be gone.
Anybody know someone who's hiring?