The Saga of Pat and Ashley*

*Wilmingtonians will recognize Pat and Ashley as the radio ad personalities for Stevenson Honda/Acura.

Continuing from my previous post about the Burger King, I have come to realize that it is my job in life to love ad personalities that other people find creepy or objectionable. Like Pat and Ashley. When this series of commercials began in 2000 or 2001, Ashley was a college student. She called the (owner?) of Stevenson Honda/Acura because she needed a car. (Did she think she was going to get one on the phone?) Anyway, Pat told her to come on in and hooked her up with a great warranty and financing. She raved about it. A while later, she called Pat up to tell him that she was sending her mom over to him. Then it was a friend. Then, in my favorite installment of Pat and Ashley, she called because she needed a new car for spring break.

We should all be so lucky.

Anyway, in the years since then, Ashley's boyfriends have all gotten their cars from Pat. He's helped out her friends who have bad credit. She tells us that she gets depressed when her friends don't buy their cars from Stevenson, because she just knows that they didn't get the best deal. Once I was actually moved to tears listening to Ashley talk about her new job (of course she needed a new car for it), thinking to myself, "I remember when she got her first car." Sniff.

Anyway, Pat and Ashley have finally dropped the pretense of calling on the phone. I have to say I'm a little sad about that. But it brings to the forefront what I have suspected all along: Pat and Ashley are getting it on. Now Ashley introduces Pat as, "one of my favorite people" and Pat is quick to point out that he "feels the same way." He flirts with her on the air. I am beginning to fear that this whole series of commercials serves as some horrible sexual dialogue between them--that he begs her to tell him about 10 year 100,000 mile warranties when they are in bed.

Still, this does not lessen my love for this campy, overplayed series. I worship Pat Koballah. I have always wanted to meet him. Recently he's begun a series of television commercials, but the man in those commercials claiming to be Pat does not in any way sound like the radio voice I've known and loved for years. I am determined to find out--which is the REAL Pat Koballah? I have searched his website, but found no picture...I will not rest until I know the truth....